how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
