I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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