toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
