you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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