my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
