apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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