I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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