I hate your face
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
