1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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