no, he came in my armpit
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
