her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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