we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
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she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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