Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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