Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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