Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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