as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
