I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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