why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
