so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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