operation harelip BJ is a go
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
