I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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