I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
