The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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