I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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