Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
