OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
