the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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