Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All the doctor said was why
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize