are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
