I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize