Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
