If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
