More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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