those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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