i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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