My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize