her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
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Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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