mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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