I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
