I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
