woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize