adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
