he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize