i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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