The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
