What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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