laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
