Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
