Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
