I puked a lego.
no, he came in my armpit
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
