I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
