im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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