Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
