The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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