How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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