please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
