Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize