You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
