Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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