My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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