Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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