Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
