Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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